Record at least 5 Little Moments of Happiness (joy, gratitude, wonder, ...) during the day.
Start the day by recording a Little Moment of Happiness that you had the day before (e.g.: meeting a loved one for a coffee, a success, a pleasant moment, an action that made you happy, etc.).
The goal is to gradually become aware of your emotions and to realize that emotions are not necessarily negative.
Developing your gratitude has a direct impact on your attitude and your way of looking at the world. It is a way to develop your "Growth Mindset".
How to do in Learning From Emotions (LFE):
a. I record an emotion
b. I record a Little Moment of Happiness
Take advantage of the strong emotions (joy, anger, sadness, fear, etc...) that you will experience today to capture them in Learning From Emotions, and more specifically the physical translation of these emotions in you.
The goal is to gradually become aware of the link between your physical feelings and your emotions.
Becoming aware of your physical feelings allows you to better identify your emotions and helps you to name them. Naming your emotions reduces their hold on your mind.
How to do in Learning From Emotions (LFE):
a. I record an emotion
b. I record my emotion to explore and learn
c. Instead of "Save" the 1st page, click on the purple arrow
d. At the bottom of page 2, in "Go Further", click on "Physical Feeling".
Every time you go on a social network today (Youtube, Linkedin, Facebook,...etc) you will record in Learning From emotions the emotion(s) that are driving you (e.g. boredom, FOMO – fear of missing a news item, waiting, etc.).
The goal is to gradually become aware of the link between our behaviors and our emotions. It is particularly instructive to realize that certain behaviors are linked to recurring emotions.
How to do in Learning From Emotions (LFE):
a. I record an emotion
b. I record my emotion to explore and learn
c. Fill in the different fields and save
d. At the bottom of the home page, consult the statistics
e. Modify or complete your entries by clicking on "I access my recorded emotions".
You will record at least 3 unpleasant emotions during the day (an altercation, a delay, an awkward word, etc...) and you will evaluate your Emotional Skills according to your reactions.
The goal is to gradually become aware that there is a space (a zone of freedom) between the emotion and the reaction. The reaction to the emotion is not a reflex (it can be modified). It can be repetitive by dint of habit.
We will see in exercise n° 5 how to put in place strategies that use a felt emotion to change behavior.
How to do in Learning From Emotions (LFE):
a. I record an emotion
b. I record my emotion to explore and learn
c. Fill in the different fields up to page 2
d. At the bottom of page 2, in "Go further" click on "Emotional Skills"
You will define an improvement strategy to help you become aware of a specific emotion.
You can choose an emotion among the most common ones (sadness, fear, anger, disgust, etc.). Once you have established this improvement strategy, you will try to become aware of this emotion at least 3 times during the day. You will take advantage of each tecording to assess your ability to accept that emotion.
You will find that you use in Learning From Emotions the "I record a Little Moment of Happiness" entry more often than the others. In fact, "I record a Little Moment of Happiness" is an improvement strategy that we have defined from the start to help you develop a positive mindset.
Being aware of your emotions (pleasant or not so pleasant) is a prerequisite to be able to manage them better. Defining an improvement strategy focused on a specific emotion is an excellent way to develop your Emotional Skills.
At first, don't be too demanding, being aware of an emotion and "simply" accepting it is already a big step.
How to do in Learning From Emotions (LFE):
1. Define the improvement strategy by clicking on "I create a strategy to improve".
Example:
Title: Sadness
Description: I become aware of my moments of sadness and I accept them.
2. Record in "I know the emotion and I put into practice my strategy" each time you become aware of your emotion (in the example your Sadness).
The practice of "active listening" is a very complicated activity for most of us. It is really difficult:
1. To listen without our thoughts getting carried away at the risk of losing the thread of our interlocutor's speech
2. Not to make shortcuts and thus lose the real understanding of what he is saying
3. To prevent ourselves from proposing "our solution" when the other person only wants to be listened to
4. And so on.
In reality, a large number of emotions can be the cause of this inability to listen:
1. Impatience
2. Indifference
3. Exasperation
4. Disgust
5. Surprise
6. Etc.
More often than not, these emotions combine. To change your behavior, you can create an improvement strategy that is titled after the desired goal: Active Listening.
Learning From Emotions, allows you to create improvement strategies based on the emotion generating the behavior (e.g. Sadness) or on the final objective targeted (if several emotions are in action).
Today, you will try to improve your active listening skills at least 2 times during the day by refraining from proposing a solution (if your interlocutor did not ask for it).
Don't be too demanding with yourself, it is normal that it is difficult at the beginning because the habits are anchored. Awareness is already a giant step.
How to do in Learning From Emotions (LFE):
1. Define the improvement strategy by clicking on "I create a strategy to improve".
Example:
Title: Active Listening
Description: I listen to my interlocutor and I refrain from proposing a solution (which will avoid me to look for solutions in my thoughts while he continues to speak to me).
2. Record in "I know the emotion and I put into practice a strategy" each time you become aware that you want to practice active listening. You will be able to evaluate your ability to implement your strategy.
Through the improvement strategies you can learn to manage a particular emotion (e.g. sadness, anger, disgust, etc.) or a combination of emotions that drive you to certain behaviors (see exercise 6 with active listening).
If you want to improve your Emotional Competence and therefore eventually your Emotional Intelligence, we advise you to create your own improvement strategies by working on the emotions and emotional skills that are causing you problems.
If you don't have any ideas. One way is to work on your fears.
You may be afraid of:
1. Saying No
2. Failure
3. Losing your self-esteem
4. Being rejected
5. Etc.
Changing your behavior drastically, without delay, is possible, but very rare. It is often easier to define intermediate steps that lead to your final goal.
Evolve your improvement strategies as you progress. For example:
Step 1: Become aware of the emotion.
Step 2: Accept the emotion
Step 3: Identify your usual reactions to the emotion
Step 4: Imagine possible alternative behaviors after experiencing the emotion
Step 5: Implement an appropriate alternative behavior after experiencing the emotion
To encourage you in this difficult work, record, when you are satisfied with your progress, "Little Moments of Happiness". A virtuous circle will appear. It will facilitate the development of your Emotional Skills.
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